Repeat after me: Not choosing to hold a birthday party for your toddler, does not mean you love them any less. It does not mean there will be a horrible void in their childhood. It does not mean you are a bad parent.
My son’s second birthday is fast approaching and after numerous conversations with my husband, it really doesn’t seem like we’re going to be hosting a birthday party and I am sick of being guilted into feeling like I am a terrible mother for making this decision.
First of all, it is not uncommon for parents to spend hundreds of dollars on a birthday party. This is completely absurd considering 48% of Canadians live paycheque to paycheque. It’s not as though this is on purpose either. But when you factor in the costs of possible venue, activities, food, cake, presents, goodie bags (don’t even get me started on goodie bags) – how do parents stand a chance?
And think about it. I recently attended a birthday party for a one year old that her mom went above and beyond for. It was Strawberry Shortcake themed, the food was lovely, there were lots of balloons for the kids to play with and you know what the birthday girl did for 80% of the party?… Sleep. Even if she was awake the entire party, she wouldn’t remember it but instead children remember how their caretakers made them feel overall. That they felt loved, secure and cherished.
Finally, I have to ask: are birthday parties at such a young age really for the kids? Or are they for ourselves to a certain extent? If you have birthday parties for ages 1, 2, 2.79 – whatever, and it works for your family and makes you happy – that’s great! I just want you to ask why. Is it societal pressure? Social media? Because it’s just the thing to do?
This isn’t to say that when my son’s birthday comes, I’m going to ignore it. We’ll celebrate in our own way. By doing what he wants that day, (yes, even if that means 5 hours of watching Paw Patrol…), getting cupcakes and showering him with love and attention. The point of this is to say that parenting involves a lot of hard choices and in this case – I choose financial responsibility.